I have had many of my pilgrims asking me what happened to my writing? As in, where have I disappeared to as the updates on “The Life and Times of I.R” seem to be few and far between. Well I am here, now. I have been travelling some time and gaining some perspective and insight on what life actually means to me. What is important and the real meaning of the word pride.
Keeping oneself really busy is an immediate solution to keeping oneself happy and not stopping to think that there could be something missing in your life. I have been using this quick fix to get me by and I have to say it has been working a treat. Not obsessing about the male species or people that have gone but releasing more positive energies that have been hiding away for the last 10 years.
Am I kidding myself with this Prozac analogy? By this I mean am I keeping so busy and sticking this grin on my face to convince myself that I am happy and have it all or is this it? Am I so thrilled with my life that it would take weapons of mass destruction to knock me off my perch!
Well here it is, I have counselled my brother through a tough time and through this have listened to my own advice and rid myself of poisons that brought me down. I have helped my sister through some trauma, counselled her through and helped find a solution. I have lost a sister, not even a year ago, and tried to counsel myself to believe she will be happier wherever she is now. Not so weak now am I!!
I believe when life feels as smooth as silk, we look for a crease. It is human nature to find fault with something that has none. It is called boredom. Therefore, don’t allow yourself to get into a state of boredom because the consequences could be fatal.
Am I more serious? Yes I suppose I am. Have I lost my jovial fun loving side, of course not. I am still me, just not so away with the fairies, living in a fantasy world where I love a man who doesn’t love me or believing that the more you run around after someone, the more they will care for you. It is time to get tough be selfish but I am still me.
Having visited a great friend last night, battling through the fog to see him, I had another reality check. The love I have been carrying for 4 years, needs to be filed away. Reality Check.
He saw a new me, a more serious me. A girl he once knew has turned into a poker faced sombre woman who is quite dead pan. Not many people detect these changes but I suppose it follows that same path of when people see you after a long time they notice weight fluctuations. He has picked up on my mentality fluctuations.
I got to thinking on my fog ridden drive home, have I lost something? He think’s I am blue. Am I blue? Am I upset? Am I low because I am not in a relationship? No, I am fine, I have everything I need and want. There are worse off people in the world. I am lucky to have what I have. Is there something upsetting me I ask again.........perhaps.........where does the love go?
It’s a new day. It’s the weekend. What is great in my life? My family, my friends, my business and above all, my fabulous wardrobe and figure to fit!!!
Rant over.
